Meditating, Reflecting ‘n’ Pondering on Thoughts ‘n’ Emotions

A (definitely–waking) dream:  I awoke this morning with the memory of taking a shower and seeing fish swimming at my feet.  At least one or two, I was thinking in my mind were goldfish, but now when I go there in memory, they were neither gold nor the small size we typically think of when we think of goldfish.  The size was more the size of medium trout.  There were at least three.  I couldn’t bear the thought of them being in there with my bare body, my bare ankles and feet exposed (along with anything they could look up at); so I managed to get them past some sort of a barrier.  That barrier seemed to be like a glass shower door, though I’m pretty sure they were still in water.  Maybe not.  We all know how dreams feel.  The weird, and terrible thing is, they were screaming.  Raucously, no less!

Now, of course, I am questioning this, but I believe I awoke, and  even swung my feet to the floor, debating whether or not to get up and use the bathroom.  I felt extremely tired, probably from being awakened in that dream state, so I rolled over and tried to understand what fish were doing in my dream.  I must have fallen back asleep in a mere nanosecond, only to wake myself by hollering “yes” out loud.  As I did both at once, the two things being waking and yelling, I wondered if I had heard my roommate call me from the other room.  A lengthy silence let me know she had not, so I had another mystery going on.  This dream and waking myself by calling out had been preceded the evening before by a long, emotional, tear filled, intense prayer, and so I easily assign great meaning to this totally puzzling experience.

Here my concerns are with having treated the fish the way I did  —  basically getting them out of my water, out of my way, out of my sight and trying, in fact, to get them out of my mind — when I heard them screaming.  That would not be my intention with answers to my prayers, nor insights.  It frightens me to be so oppositional, especially after asking help.

I researched fish with the aid of a few online sources; with the help of www. and their Dream Moods Dictionary I came to see them representing insights being brought to the surface.

-I deserve to be frightened.  I was unnerved by them, I wanted them away from me, I caused them to scream!  Hallelujah!  I ask for them.  I freak.  I send them away.  Sounds like me.  There’s nothing I love more than creating repeating Catch 22s.  The same source indicated, “They may also imply a slippery or elusive situation.”  Well, duh!  That would be exactly what would take me to my knees in intense emotional tear filled prayer, would it not?

I did benefit a lot reading up on dream symbols and thinking through, (as best I could) what my dream could mean.  Let me share one more snippet from the same source.  “To hear running water in your dream denotes meditation, reflection and pondering of your thought and emotions.”  I certainly do enough of that in my life.  It is the effectiveness of my doing it that remains in question.  Help, anyone?


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