I personally prefer transparency. I’ve written over a half dozen posts about a personal catfishing tale, over a couple of my online blogs (is there such a thing as an offline blog?) and although I’m sure all human beings must do a degree of catfishing in their own lives, I’m pretty sure I’m generally pretty opposite to that. My inherent tendency seems more to be a blurt style.
I could leave all such things to your imagination, — hm, internal interrupt, — perhaps I simply don’t trust your imagination. In fact, I’ll bet that’s it! Awesome! I just had an ah ha moment while writing a blog post! I’m a control freak! I have been since grade school, if not earlier.
Wow! If I’m suddenly freed of that, what am I going to do about this post? I won’t even have to write it. Wait! I think I’m freer knowing I’m a control freak that someone who is transparent? Let me check. WHAT AM I DOING? I’m forgetting to take my meds far too often!
All right. I did start with transparency and it had to do with this possibly appearing as a new blog because of my placing one of my domains upon it that is no match for the old. Old was gallingrepetitiveness.com or galling repeat.com; current comes inspired from a story early on in the book by Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich.
Sometimes, I find it immensely helpful to just stop and take a nap. That was my intention a little while ago, but I ended up doing a visualization instead. Please permit me to share some of that with you. Oh, by the way, the visualization was prompted by my contrasting the two names and realizing the serendipitous aspect that had been a part of noticing that.
Many of you will have heard from some source or other: “we create our own reality”. Those happy with their lives are often more than happy to take that credit, or at least don’t really care to protest. It’s the greater majority of us whose lives seem all too often to “suck” major big time, whose cries are heard in ever enveloping waves outward and resounding pitiably within. My experience: sour, sour, sour. I can all but see, in a massive swell, millions mouthing, “I would never create this”. As real as real could be, (it seemed) I could feel an actual downturn of my inner mouth reacting to what felt akin to acid indigestion.
Gallingrepetitivenessmaxine seems to me to represent the “sucky” side of life alluded to above. Why would I leave those posts then, rife with discontent? It was so long ago that I read this, I couldn’t begin to give credit where credit is due, but the sentiment made loads of sense to me. The blogger I happened to be reading then had done exactly that: to benefit those starting out writing, for profit or sport. I’m not implying he/she was a malcontent, but someone who understood at a deep level that we all get better over time. It can be difficult for someone starting out to find examples of improvement and to have the leisure to make their own comparisons.
My turning my blog now, to something intended to represent at least a few powerful lessons learned may or may not represent an improvement in my writing. I hope that will be observable, but of far greater importance to me would be that it can readily be observed that my mindset has been and continues to change.
There was always an awareness in the deep shadows of my mind that I had created my own miserable stew of ennui, angst and weltschmertz. http://mentalfloss.com/article/58230/how-tell-whether-youve-got-angst-ennui-or-weltschmerz The image I created and posted to head this share represents my attitude towards reflection in these matters.
I hope you will join me in forward motion. I am eager to share more of my own growth. It would delight me immeasurably if you would share along.